Long rough year

Lynne lost her battle with brain cancer Saturday May 17th. I wasn't at home. One of the things that Lynne so wanted to do before she left was go to the Oregon coast, but she never made it. My family lives 45 minutes from the Oregon coast. I had an unexplainable desire to go visit, but was torn due to the fact that we knew Lynne was close to leaving. The picture above was taken on Saturday May 17th in the afternoon. Lynne left us that night at 11:45. I said good-bye to her standing on that beach, tears running down my face and I heard a little voice inside, "Don't be crying for me, enjoy the day" (She hated tears). It is so very hard to believe that she is gone. She will be so terribly missed.

When I stop to think about all that has happened this year it is almost unbearable. It's been a year since things started with a huge family disappointment that I have been having problems getting over (it hurt me more than I realized), loss of our youngest horse, Raven, Lynne's brain cancer, surgeries and battle, my daughter's shattered dream of working in Japan (but she's working on getting another job there), the loss of my husbands job and my job, another disappointment from a life-long friend (or so I thought), my mother-in-laws brain tumor and death, my mother's battle with Alzheimer's and the knowing that we will have to let our oldest horse go before the winter comes this year.

But there have been some good things this year also. New friends, one being my 'boss' at the frame shop, she has also been through a lot of loss and sorrow this year. My artwork - has been selling great this year, I was in one juried show and have been juried into another which will run the month of July, two art shows coming up soon, one in June another in August. Laughing and spending time with Lynne and C this last year.

So I am trying to keep my spirits up and think of all the good that has happened this year but sometimes I just seem to be dragging. Sometimes it is a battle to get myself into the studio to get anything done, search for a job, or go into work. I just want to lay down and pull the covers over my head and cry.

No Pictures today

In Oregon. Visiting family. On the way to ocean shores today. It is warmer here than I ever remember it being so hoping the trip to the coast will be nice.....course it will probably be way crowded.

10:52 PM

I smelled death tonight

Thru my eyes
Thru my skin
Thru my hair
It permeated the room
Heavy in the air
The taste on my tongue
Not unpleasant
But awkward
An old knowing odor

I smelled death tonight

Some new artwork

New 10x10 abstract on board


Just playing around with some paper and paint.





Some things for a show. I seem to have a thing for pears lately. I just love painting them.

Today's visitors

I noticed our oldest horse racing across the field this morning looking out at the neighbors house. His ears up, tail up all excited and nothing excites him anymore. So I look out the front window thinking dogs, neighbor's horse, etc... and I see something a little different.

At first I thought it was the neighbor's alpacas (they just moved in a few months ago, we haven't met them yet but I so want to as I love alpacas)

BUT on closer look ........ it was these three....

I yelled at my husband and daughter that we had antelope in the front yard...
grabbed my camera and was able to get pretty close to them. They finally slide under ..... yes under, the neighbor's fence and trotted off in the direction of the foothills and another desert subdivision.

We've never had them come in this close to us before. Hope it is a good omen.

It was a wonderful morning adventure.