Waiting
LJ has decided to stop the chemo as it wasn't doing any good. The tumor is just as big as it was 6 months ago. The doctor's confirmed that she has 3-4 (if we are lucky 6 months) but CR doesn't think it's going to be that long. She thinks it will be next month sometime. And after tonight I have to admit it may be closer than we all had hoped.
LJ's brother is flying in from England tomorrow and she seems to be pretty happy about that. But she can't keep things straight, and 1/2 the time we don't know what she's talking about. A lot of what she is saying doesn't make sense.
On the way home from her place tonight there was a huge owl sitting on the power line right at our drive way. What kind of an omen was that? I went out with the binoculars and he had moved down the power line a ways and I tried to see what kind it was but couldn't as it was getting dark. The owl didn't make a sound and was still sitting there when I went back inside. Owls have always been one of my favorite birds. Was it trying to send me a message? If so, I sure wish I knew what it was. And I so wish there were more I could do for LJ.
LJ's brother is flying in from England tomorrow and she seems to be pretty happy about that. But she can't keep things straight, and 1/2 the time we don't know what she's talking about. A lot of what she is saying doesn't make sense.
On the way home from her place tonight there was a huge owl sitting on the power line right at our drive way. What kind of an omen was that? I went out with the binoculars and he had moved down the power line a ways and I tried to see what kind it was but couldn't as it was getting dark. The owl didn't make a sound and was still sitting there when I went back inside. Owls have always been one of my favorite birds. Was it trying to send me a message? If so, I sure wish I knew what it was. And I so wish there were more I could do for LJ.
posted by Jonna at 10:54 PM
5 Comments:
Oh Jonna! I am so sorry. My wish is that there is some peace to be found in the days to come.
Jonna, I am so sorry about your friend. Our friend, Steve was back in the hospital yesterday having to have his lungs drained. It's so hard to watch a friend suffer, isn't it?
I think the Owl was watching over you, bringing you a sense of peace and trying to tell you that everything will be ok.
Found this on the Web:
Owls symbolize wisdom, the ability to see things that are hidden, stealth, swiftness, ... Through the ages, the owl has carried the symbolism of Wisdom.
What intrigues me most about symbols and 'seeing things' like an owl on a wire is not just what the objects we see mean, but that we choose to see (and are led to see) what we need to see.
What does your wisdom tell you? Wishing we could do more when we have done the best we can is a kind of holding on, isn't it? That's how I felt last year when my brother was leaving us. You are doing the best you can and that is all anyone, including your friend, wants you to do. is it small comfort? there is little comfort to be had now, but there will be much more to come.
I will be thinking of you as will all your friends...and we've never met.
alicia
Ohhh Goshh. This sounds all too familiar...My friend Kathryn was the same way and it was sad because she wasn't the same at all after her surgery and chemo. I am thinking of you. It is a very hard thing to go through.
My heart to you as you witness life transition to death with your friend. I'm always re-shocked at how much time and energy it takes to integrate the new reality of what's happening for the person who is dying and the people who love them and who keep learn to live new realities every day.
Thinking of all of you...sending supportive vibes...
miracles,
k-
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